Lord Christopher Michael Johnson, who was residing in Fremantle, Western Australia, left us suddenly on the 8th of May, 2011. He was 25 years old and in the middle of planning an illustrious career path in town while enjoying the finer things in life, such as baked beans and bunk beds. The loss of him was an unexpected tragedy and those left behind still mourn him deeply.
Mr. Johnson was born in York, UK on June 22nd, 1985. He stayed in York for most of his life besides the occasional vacation to Mexico and Spain. At the age of 24 he decided to take his booming soccer career to another continent and let the people of Australia see his skills. While catching up with old friends such as Ken Davies, and making new ones like Emily Meyers, he started enjoying the Aussie lifestyle and loving Melbourne. From traffic controlling both day and night, and babysitting on the side, he was able to provide himself with some of his favorite treats: gummies, Crown Lager, and Eye Fillet steaks.
Although the reason for Chris’ sudden departure is still somewhat a mystery, there is no doubt he made a lasting impression on those around him. Chris is survived by his friends and housemates, Patricia Duffey, Emily Meyers, Edgar Padro Velasco, Minnie Avila, and Josh Purdy. At this time, I’d like to make a list of some reasons why I love Chris and think about him from time-to-time.
1) I miss having someone decent to play Ping Pong (Table Tennis) against.
2) I liked the fact that we both have itchy, teary, droopy eyes sometimes.
3) How you introduced me to the “Tim Tam Slam” and then criticized me when I did it with red wine instead of tea.
4) The fact that I still don’t comprehend (or support) your obsession with tea OR your constant need for afternoon naps.
5) How we can sit for an hour and talk about what we’d do with a million bucks and then secretly told each other we wouldn’t tell anyone if we actually ever wont he lottery.
6) Mush. Mushykins.
7) How Ken kind of forced us to be friends, but then we actually ended up hanging out every single day and lived together for over five months.
8) Your blunt, and sometimes seemingly emotionless advice, which was usually right (not always, usually).
9) Your silly accent which became “American-ized” and how after 8 months Patty still can’t completely understand you on the phone.
10) Your stupid shirt and leather jacket that looks like you have a shirt underneath but it’s just a sewn-in pretend shirt.
11) That unlike Patty and Josh, we rarely went on runs – that made me feel better.
12) Cuddles.
13) Your obsession with that Kelly Clarkson song that sounds like Paramore, and how much you liked “Toes” by Zac Brown Band.
14) How ridiculous you looked with “long” hair.
15) That small smile you get when you do something right but don’t want to seem too excited about it.
16) How you complained about prices of beer, food, etc but ALWAYS bought the Eye Fillet steak with peppercorn sauce when you went to Beachcombers. And you did everything but lick the plate every single time.
17) How much it meant to me when I wasn’t invited to that party and you came over and hung out with me anyways.
18) Our first picture together was in Sepia tone, and you like that setting almost as much as I do.
19) The fact that you think you’re a professional soccer player but I’ve never actually seen you kick a ball.
20) Your scar that you showed me one night… which I wasn’t expecting but I appreciated nonetheless.
21) How you put on Patty’s lip plumper and let us take pictures of you. But more importantly, that if you were a girl it would have looked really good.
22) You were my blue-eyed counterpart with silly brown and hazel-eyed friends.
23) Our date to see “Sex, and Other Drugs” and getting coronas after.
24) How excited you got whenever we brought home gummies.
25) How you can act like a little boy one moment and then like a dad with Kathy and JP’s little ones the next.
26) The fact that you bawled equally as hard (or harder) than Patty and I did at Christmas when you got off the phone with your family.
27) That whenever you get the sniffles you sleep with tissues stuck up your nose. And how when I tried it, it worked!
28) The enormous let down we felt/still feel about the lack of Yorkshire Puddings.
29) How when I now meet English people I think I can relate to them by saying “my best friend lives in York”. They never seem to get overly excited about that though…
30) The fact that until last week, you had me convinced that Bangers and Mash was a good meal. Then I tried it, and just so you know – I disagree.
31) How when you walked into an ice cream shop you picked out the flavor that was bright blue and added gummy bears to it. Childish.
32) Your growl that you do when you see a girl you think is remotely cute.
33) The fact that you owned a set of weights and I never once saw you use them.
34) When we watched that TV show that ended up showing us what 80 year old people look like naked. To this day, that still grosses me out.
35) How unaware you are to the amount you affect those around you. That when you left you didn’t just leave a vast, empty, strange country… but you left some people who really care about you. Detrimental modesty, I think.
RIP Chris Johnson, who was taken by a land of rain, serious men with tall hats, fish ‘n chips, chocolate factories, and tiny family members. At Chris’ request, you can send any donations you might have to 16 Harwood Street, Hilton WA 6163 Australia. These should be in the form of cash or cheque addressed to Emily Meyers, Patty Duffey, or Josh Purdy. Thank you.
