At the end of your comfort zone...

I received a card from one of my very best friends not so long ago. The front was black with white writing that said, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." I couldn't think of a better quote to sum up this entire experience that I have been having. It's been a string of pushes... each day marking one more day successfully completed. Because after all, it's been over 3 months and we're still here - aren't we?

I went Christmas shopping a couple days ago by myself downtown. I hate to say it, but I'm going to have to venture out in the rain again today to pick up some little additions that I didn't purchase last time. It made my mind a bit weird when I looked around and saw wreaths, trees, lights, banners, and even a Christmas donkey (yes, you can be confused... I was as well) on the side of the road. It was like a snowball hitting you smack in the face. It's the holiday season, and it's completely crept up on me.

It's not just the weather that has led me to push Christmas to the back of my mind... but I think also the fact that we aren't with our families and our contact with friends from home has dwindled a bit recently. With all of our lives going a million different directions it hard enough to stay in touch... let alone if you can't shoot out a quick text or call.

So to Le Pack & Della. I miss you.

The muggy heat seems unnatural for a month that for the past 23 years has been complete with snow, cold, jackets, scarfs, red noses, big boots, slushy weather, hot chocolate, and fires. When I think of Christmas I think of my mom's cooking... big pots of steamy goodness that makes my kitchen smell like home. I think of flannel pjs and reading by the fire. I think of Christmas cookies and wrapping paper. I think of board games and family movies. It's odd, but all these images and memories of this time of year seem so far off right now.

On the flip side, I'm really excited to celebrate such an amazing holiday with incredible friends over here. I'm lucky enough to have one of my best guy friends trek all the way from Ohio to celebrate not only New Years, but Christmas as well. Shout out to Kyle Melling who I cannot wait to see! It'll make this time a lot easier when we have someone from home, who can make me laugh no matter what, to spend it with.

So this year, I'll be trading in my J. Crew pj bottoms and sweatshirts for a red bikini and Santa hat on Christmas day. Instead of putting on gloves and wool socks I'll be rubbing in sun tan lotion! It'll be different... but I have a feeling it will be just as magical.

Here's to embracing in new traditions and always keeping the old ones close by! Happy Christmas Season friends! Cheers to the reds and the greens, the blues and the silvers... and whatever holiday you might celebrate!

Peace & Love.

snippets.

picture this :::

90 degrees. sun boiling right through you. sunnies on... running. smile plastered. pieces of hair falling into your face. "no, i'm not canadian". why is the kitchen taking so long? who is this new person? "hey! can you clear table 408?" huge sigh. big gulp of diet coke. glance to your left. grin and wink at your girlfriend. "us against the world, right?" punch numbers into the computer. turn around. living the dream.

airport. forty minutes after he was supposed to arrive. nervously pacing. biting your nails. fixing your top... wringing your hands. *he's supposed to be here by now.* then swirls of colors and a rush of air... familiar face. familiar smell. hugging. is anyone else in here?

dressed up. walking into the casino. flashing lights... beautiful people... music. girls night out. dresses. tans. sharing drinks. "no photos in here miss..." you must be kidding. blackjack for the first time. winning. chips. slots. tons and tons of people. huge venue. amazing night. staying late with an old friend. winning. coronas. pretending like you know what you're doing. ending up on top.

legs up on the dash... air blowing in the windows. straw hat on and blue sunnies are donned. cracking open a bottle and listening to the radio. looking over the cliff side into the endless deep blue and white beaches. thinking... this is all there is, isn't it?

on stage. swaying to the music... which isn't that good. look over. blue eyes. both hands clutched on the microphone. "you say he's just a friend..." do you even know that song? reassuring smile. aussie rap concert. friends beaming back at you. "told you it'd be worth it!" looking over at the rapper... laughing too hard that you can't sing. getting off the stage. energy. music. vibrations. wishing the night wouldn't end.

waking up in the morning. stiff back... tired eyes... sore limbs. alarm ringing. work soon. but the shift just ended, didn't it? pulling on a bright orange shirt and wiping the sleep out of your eyes. fumbling with the toothbrush and making sure your have the keys. slipping $2 into your pocket for juice. finding your phone and ipod. running a brush through a bit of hair. and another day...

seeing your family on the computer from a million miles away. hearing them make dinner, mutter about where things are in the kitchen, and discuss the christmas tree. "you'll be on skype wednesday so you can tell us where to hang your ornaments, right?" the first christmas you'll be without. that part of the 6th will be missing. who's room will they sleep in christmas eve? the beginning feelings of longing... haven't felt like this since you left.

walking around downtown... ipod in one ear, phone in hand, searching for just the right presents. touching colored patterns as you pass through stores, reading signs and walking by. hearing the "beep" of the pedestrian cross sign. feeling the heat of the exhaust from cars. crossing off names as you catch a spare moment. figuring out what tram will get you closest. taking a deep breath as you realize... it's december. it's hot. you're far away. do your best.

legs crossed. arms crosses. nervously tapping on the desk. "come on, come on..." handing the card over. booked. 2 week vacation. sailing, hiking, camping, jungles, ocean, mountains. best friends, old friends, new friends. three weeks and counting. so far away, so soon. get here.

sore feet. sleepy eyes. hurt back. t-shirt tan. low bank account. bad internet connect. fast typing. faster calling. fastest texting. facebook check. email check. email send. blog post.

done.

miss & love. xo.