Sleep, Work, Barbie, Repeat

There’s this small café on a corner right by the train station. It makes the best skinny cappacinos in Fremantle and the chocolate chip – blueberry muffins are the perfect treat to cheer anyone up. One entire wall is a red chalkboard, covered with last-minute quotes, wise words, “call me”, different initials sketched together with hearts, and a spattering of foreign phrases. The entire wall facing out towards the train station and the harbor is completely glass, giving you a feeling of sitting outside and letting you people watch or enjoy the company of the other coffee drinkers who are plopped down with notepads or computers. There are numerous palm trees and the sky is a bright blue. I can see the parking spot where Chris parked our Apollo Campervan the first day we arrived here. That day was full of relief, excitement, and the fresh feeling of putting your feet down in a new spot. Little did we know it was the start of a very different part to our Australian adventure. Some parts good, some parts harder than expected, and simply put... a lot to overcome. But if something doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. Right?

To me, this small town where everything closes at 5 tastes like baked beans, Emu Bitter, pizza, and granola bars. It smells like garlic, coffee, fire, and whatever strange musty odor that perpetually resides in my room. Here, life is simple. I work six days a week at a small Italian restaurant called “PortaRosa”. I work there with two of my best friends in WA, Minnie and Isabelle. If I’m not working I’m either at the library, in my room, or trying to finagle my way around Perth city. Hospitality work is getting incredibly old at this point and my new job is a huge shift from the chaotic mess at Beachcombers that I loved. Instead of 70 staff, there’s about 8… instead of 12-hour shifts with 20-minute breaks, my shifts are usually between 3 – 7 hours and if I have a break it’s for 2 hours. The people I work with are great, most of them being from Italy and teach me some phrases here and there. I’m lucky enough to get a pizza slipped in my bag from time-to-time and the kitchen lets me nibble on the cucumbers and bread whenever I want. Even as I’m sitting here, I’m wearing nothing but black (besides a pink flower in my hair that was a present from my Mom) and I’m counting down the hours until the night shift begins. I love the spontaneity of waitressing, getting to meet new people each day, and talk to individuals from all over the world. This job constantly reminds me of how small the world is... but after Australia, I hope to never have to do this again. Bring on big girl jobs where my clothes don't smell like garlic bread and chili mussels at the end of the night!

The best part about living in Fremantle is that we’ve come to acquire a fantastic new group of friends! We've become somewhat of a makeshift family and see each other almost every day. It’s weird because never in my life have I hung out with mostly couples… but now, it’s almost completely what our group consists of. Different, but definitely not worse. We met up with Edgar and Minnie who are two of the most fantastic people I know. Hailing from Mexico, I worked with both of them at Beachcombers and as soon as we got to Freo they introduced us to Isabelle and Roy. The two couples met on the road somewhere between Melbourne and Perth and decided to travel the rest of the journey together. They are from Amsterdam and are amazing. It’s not uncommon for us to get up and find Roy sleeping on our couch due to Isabelle having to work super early and then having a bbq with them later on. Through Isabelle and Roy we met Nick and Linda from Germany. Both of these couples having traveled throughout Australia in campervans so they met while sleeping down at South Beach one night. Nick has been traveling around the world for the past year and is hilarious – every cool place he’s gone he does this “crab walk” on his video camera and so far has made an awesome youtube video of it. From places like NYC, Sydney, the beaches of Fiji... it’s something really cool and just funny to look back on. Linda is still in school back in Germany so she’s only been able to see Nick sporadically. They’ll be separating again pretty soon which is incredibly sad, but gives you a good feeling that there are still those people who try that hard. One night, I was walking home from work with Minnie when we were yanked into Edgar’s campervan by Edgar and Josh and brought out to the harbor to drink some beers and hang out with Clemente and Solene (vive la france!) who they had just met at the hostel. Immediately I knew that we all were going to hang out for a while… they were just so NICE and sweet and funny. The next day I ended up talking to Selene for what seemed like a couple minutes but was actually over an hour about everything from getting married to friends at home. I still can’t get over how easily it is to connect to people despite their nationality, background, or age. Throw in our American couple that we live with (Ayden and Justine) and we have our amazing band of misfits. At least every other day we have a bbq at our place with lots of odds and ends of food that we all pick up and a couple drinks if we have a couple spare dollars. Josh, Patty, and I have it pretty lucky when it comes to company. I can’t imagine Freo without any of these people. But unfortunately we’ve already started saying our good-byes. Minnie left for Broome a couple days ago, Edgar just sold his van and will be headed to Asis next week, Nick and Linda are back on the road come Monday, and Ayden and Justine are off exploring on Sunday. On the bright side, Isabelle and Roy will be moving in and although our group will shrink a bit, we’ll still be having cookouts and poker nights with Isabelle, Roy, Patty, Josh, Clemente, Solene, and myself. Plus, hopefully we won’t stop meeting people and recruit more people for our late night talks and massive feasts. Some friends from Sweden are supposed to be arriving this weekend, we have one little Irish girl from Beachcombers in Perth City, and a German friend who I saw on the street but haven’t been able to convince to make the trek all the way to Hilton for some of our famous dinners yet. Soon though, soon.

So what is WA all about? As Patty says, it stands for Waiting Always. We’ve been waiting to find jobs (which we did), waiting to find a house (did that too), find some crazy kids to call our friends (yup), waiting to see if Chris was going to leave (unfortunately, he did), waiting to save up money to get out of here (booked the flight yesterday!), waiting for work to be over… beers to be cracked… steaks on the grill… poker being dealt… and the good parts of all this to continue. Waiting Always.

Gypsy Soul To Blame...

*I just want to let everyone know that I was supposed to document the entirety of our time on the road but like so many other attempts to keep a journal or diary, I failed. Here’s a glimpse into the first couple days of our trip. Unedited. It’s sporadic, rambles on at times, and there aren't too many facts about Southern Australia, but it was what was on my mind at the time…*

Road Journal.

“Couldn’t wait to get going, but wasn’t quite ready to leave…”

Thursday April 14^th

Day 1.

First of all – Happy 24^th Birthday Scott Dulany!!! Thinking of you wherever you are and hoping you're having a fantastic day with great food, amazing friends, and some celebratory drinks!

Well, it’s officially been an hour into our 37-hour trek across Southern Australia! We’ve pretty much explored every nook and cranny of our campervan and settled in for an 8-½ hour trip to the first (and most likely last) major city - Adelaide! The sun is out and it’s a bit chilly, definitely feels like the beginning of Fall! It's strange having September weather in April. Already sweatshirts have been taken out of squished suitcases and blankets found. Chris immediately assumed his designated role of “the only person who can confidently drive this house on wheels” and has taken his place in the front seat. Patty, who wasn’t feeling too hot after the largest thick shake in the world and some pork sliders, is scrunched up in the passenger seat – accompanied by Spike, Josh’s cactus. I’ve plopped down in, what looks like, the “booth”… aka the-perfect-place-to-play-Scrabble-table. With the windows cracked, a blanket tucked next to me, and some sunnies on I’m feeling very content. My black stretchy pants are back out for our journey, I think the last time I donned these yoga-esque fashion faux pa was on the long journey over to Australia. Almost 8 months ago. Besides, they also came in handy when chowing down at Misty’s Diner (an American-themed 50’s style restaurant). It figures I’d find my favorite restaurant the last day in Melbourne. I was elated when we walked into this pink, black, and white themed diner and I could order French Fries, burgers, and a shake! It reminded me of some of my favorite restaurants back in the States - the Tilton Diner and the Sycamore Diner. It seems that I would have been in my prime back in the '50s. Also, if allowed to eat at any of those places anytime I wanted, I would definitely NOT fit into my stretchy pants. I'm buzzing with the familiar feelings of the beginning of a new adventure, but I think the food and the lack of sleep finally caught up to Josh – who is currently passed out in the back with the blinds drawn.

The Camper is about the size of the room we lived in at Jessica House (our first "home" in Melbourne), and A LOT nicer. It is absolutely huge, clean, and even has a fridge and TV. The shower and toilet situation is pretty crazy, and reminds me of The Clipper’s bathroom facilities. The shower is basically ON the toilet. So you have to stand next to the toilet and turn on the shower and kind of lean over to wash yourself. Already I’ve soaked myself a couple times while trying to turn on the sink and accidentally turned on the shower. Oh well! We’ll sort it out!

It’s a weird feeling to be leaving Melbourne. The feeling was kind of like when I left the States. I was definitely wearing about leaving such an amazing place, but the aspect of something fresh and new overrides any sad feelings I might have. I think it’s the fluidity and consistency of moving that has me used to it all at this point. I think it’s up to six or seven different places in less than six years? Three different houses during college, North Carolina, Luxembourg, Columbus, and now Australia. Phew. But new locations mean new people which means new friends which means “broadening horizons”. I can’t wait! I thrive on being with, and around, people. It got to the point that in November Patty needed to tell me to calm down. And I realized I didn't have to be a part of absolutely everything. But I can’t help it, I love the energy and when you meet that couple people (or that one person) and you just click. There really is nothing better.

Well, enough reflection and onto the scenery... it seems like Australia is pretty flat right about now. The tallest things I can see are the wind catchers (what is the correct term?) that probably power the surrounding farms. Windmills? Yeah, windmills. No Kangaroos yet, just some cows – which, surprisingly are the same here, you’d think they’d have stripes instead of spots or something uniquely aussie. The light is doing this pretty cool thing, it’s coming out in patches as soon as the clouds move out of the way a bit… the taller hills are being highlighted and you could easily take a picture of this and sign it “Van Gogh” and people would believe it. I used to be confused about why people pay so much money for paintings of dull things such as sparse fields or rows of trees. This is one of those moments where I get it. The scene is calming and peaceful. Cows don’t have it bad, do they?

Anyway, there are about a billion different colors in the sky at this moment. There’s the perfect blue that accompanies the clouds when it’s just the right day… it always reminds me of the beginning of The Simpsons or waterskiing on Lake Tomahawk at camp. The clouds are those long paint-stroke ones that seem to hover, just waiting to disappear or open up. My favorite clouds are the ones that seem to touch down somewhere just beyond where you can see and have the sun above them, just waiting to crash through any opening it can find. I feel like the sun and water are pretty similar in the fact that they are constantly searching for flaws, openings, and patches to leak through and infest. Whether it’s slip-ups with sunscreen, macro-bursts in a snorkel, or bits of roof that need to be patched up – we’re constantly searching for these imperfections and doing our best to protect ourselves from them. But then there are the beautiful mistakes… beautiful mistakes? The times when the sun finds it’s way through the rain and different colors swirl around to make a rainbow, or when bits of water get caught in a spider web. I know I’m being lame right now and these images belong in a Disney movie, but I blame the scenery… and my over active imagination.

Another part of the scenery that is not nature are all these ridiculous signs that are spattered along Australian highways. One that I love in particular that is so demanding is...

“TIRED? POWERNAP NOW!”

I've seen other variations of this such as "SLEEP OR DIE". We’ve also passed a lot of road names like Snake Creek, Mount Emu Creek, Kangaroo Junction and lots of other uncommon names. I’ll check back in a while to see if we’ve come across any others.

So… we’ve fast-forwarded a couple of hours and we are now close to Adelaide! We stopped twice at gas stations (petrol stations) to fuel up with some chips and beer. That is the extent of dinner tonight… I got some beef jerky and Chap Stick as well. The life on the road is pretty grand - some games of catch phrase, poem writing to entertain each other, the States game (which Josh beat me at), the Get-To-Know-You game... which is stupid because we've been living with each other since January, and trying to figure out the heat/speaker differences between the front cabin and the back. It seems like the perfect volume and warmth to fall asleep to in the front... and then a rockin' Friday nightclub and chilly in the back. Super.

Friday April 15^th

Day 2.

So we’ve all made the executive decision not to change for at least a couple of days. As Chris said, "it just makes things easier.” This way we don't have to unpack and honestly, who really cares about looks at this point? So that means jeans and an England jersey for Chris, stretchy pants and a bogan aussie singlet for Patty, jeans and Josh’s favorite shirt for him, and stretchy pants and my victorica’s secret shirt for me. The beds were… less than comfortable. Comparable to sleeping on the hard ground in a tent at Fraser Island. It seemed like, again, there was a disconnect between the heat and one part of the Camper was way too hot, and the other part was freezing. We'll have to get to the bottom of that. We ended up parking in this remote, VERY QUIET, hilly area. Perfect place for a horror movie to go down. I kept waking up in the morning thinking that we were going to get in trouble because of all the cars that kept passing us. It felt like each car that drove by was about to crash into the side of our camper due to it swaying violently every time another vehicle would come close. It was okay though, nobody stopped and there was never that knocking on the door that I expected throughout the night. However, when we finally did venture outside we realized we were parked in the middle of a construction site. That would account for all of the cars around us. Crap. But we survived the night and are now on our way to reach Adelaide… which is about an hour away. We didn’t want to stop in the city due to the charges at camping grounds and whatnot. Hopefully we’ll get some food other than chips and I’ll be set. Oh, my French braid and the running band have already come out so looking remotely cute this trip is a no-go. I’m going to dive into the book I brought, Invictus, later on – unless Josh takes it first. In which Petra will have to come out again in full force and scare the crap out of him. You see, Josh has a habit of rough housing and throwing me around… that was until I made up this crazy weirdo alter-ego, Petra. Revenge is sweet.

We stopped in Adelaide for lunch! There was this huge indoor market with tons of different food – and the prices were fantastic compared to Melbourne. As we decided, we’ve been grossly exploited living in a city where McD’s costs more than a normal sandwich in the States. Chris and I went straight for the meat pies amongst other treats… wraps, sandwiches, truffles, croquettes, corn and cheese thing, and of course – coffee. The city was great! It seemed open and really clean. But of course we jumped to conclusions with “everyone here is weird” because the first person we saw had bright pink hair that matched her knee high boots. Judgmental much? After sorting out our grumbling stomachs we made our way back to the Camper. The next couple hours consisted of Josh and I reading in the back while Chris manned the front and Patty learned more about Australia. The chips have been devoured again but we’re refraining from cracking open any beers ‘til later.

Let's see... what else happened? Oh! Josh drove this morning, and it went pretty well! Chris somehow got cream in his eyes and had to take a break from the perils of the road. I was Josh’s number 2 person and proceeded to be a backseat driver while manning the radio. Although it was only for about twenty minutes, it was fun to switch positions with Patty & Chris. Got to give them a couple minutes to lay down and experience the ridiculously loud speakers in the back, and for us to pretend like we’re the responsible ones taking control. We're currently on a road that we’ve been on for the last 3 hours. There's nothing but vast desert and a couple turns here and there… the scary part about this road is that it’s completely straight but yet there are tons of markers indicating fatalities and/or accidents. The black markers mean death while the red ones are for near fatal accidents. It’s pretty nerve wrecking since there are TONS – it makes me feel safer that Chris and Josh are driving instead of me, and that we’re in a massive car that would take a lot to total. I still have that kicked-in-the-stomach feeling whenever we come up close behind a car… reminds me of two years ago and the split second I saw the car stopped in front of me and how I barely swerved out of the way, totaling Baby Blue and almost killing myself. Even though the scars have all but faded, definitely the scariest moment of my entire life.

By the way, another sign “REST OR DIE”. These Aussies don't mess around with the signs! But on a good note and we can finally see the ocean! I kept on forgetting while reading my book that I’m road tripping across South Australia. Then I'd look out the window and realize that there wasn't anything familiar. What a difference a year makes, or even six months. I would have never imagined that I'd meet two guys and end up hiking across the country with them. When I think about how completely altered my life has become by Chris, Josh, and (of course) Patty I can’t believe it. I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier.

At this moment, the trip reminds me of a scene from my favorite movie, "Almost Famous"... where they were road tripping across the country while touring. Suddenly "Tiny Dancer" comes on the radio and everyone starts singing together while watching hundreds of miles go by beneath them. Only right now, (much to Josh's dismay) Chris Brown is on the radio and the measurements are in Kilometers, not miles. I'll end today on a quote from "Almost Famous" that just about sums up our little band of adventurers...

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."

Cockroaches and Beans.

Perth.

Pro: The weather is warm and sunny - no more Melbourne rain.

Con: I have absolutely zero money.

Pro: The hostel is a 5 minute walk to Fremantle beach.

Pro: We already have friends from Mexico, Germany, France, and Amsterdam!

Con: I have to eat beans for almost all of my meals.

Pro: They give out free fruit samples at the weekend market.

Pro: We made it to Church this year for Easter.

Con: I have too much stuff and have to give a lot to the Salvation Army.

Pro: We were able to try to surf down at Margaret River with Edgar!

Pro: Breaks Cafe has free Internet.

Con: We found a massive brown cockroach in our room.

Pro: At least it wasn't black, those are the bad kind.

Pro: Every Wednesday is Karaoke at The Orient!

Con: Everything closes at 5PM in Fremantle every day.

Pro: Every Thursday is The Orient hosts free dinners.

Pro: I have a trial at an Italian restaurant!

Con: I gave out 10 CVs (resumes) and only got one trial.

Pro: Minnie works at PortaRosa's too!

Pro: I got the job!

Con: I'm the only one who doesn't speak Italian.

Pro: I will now once again have a steady paycheck!

Pro: I have somewhere to be besides bothering Josh, Patty, and Chris every night.

Con: Chris is leaving for home.

Pro: Now we don't have to listen to Kelly Clarkson all the time.

Pro: We moved into a house with two other Americans.

Con: It's in the ghetto and it too has cockroaches.

Pro: It's not a hostel or a campervan!

Pro: Edgar, Nick, and Roy usually makes the driveway into a caravan park at night.

Con: At least twice a week the police come due to the "domestically unsound" neighbors.

Pro: It's entertaining.

Pro: We have cookouts and BBQs all the time!

Con: I usually miss the eating part due to work.

Pro: Someone always throws me a beer :)

Pro: All three of us have jobs, a home, and are finally saving up some money.

Con: It seems like we can't get rid of cockroaches or beans.

Pro: At least they aren't black, and I kinda like baked beans.

Life is pretty different here... but an adventure is an adventure no matter where you are or who you're with as long as you keep your chin up and your spirits high.

xo.

Perth-fect.

It's about that time again... we've never been able to stay put in this country for too long. We started off our journey with four nights at "The Ritz for Backpackers" hostel, then onto the dirty, smokey sharehouse that was "Jessica House" for a couple weeks, then switching it up to the other side of St. Kilda to Carlisle Street where we shared a slanted room and fought off mice each night...

It seemed like in January we finally got it right. We moved into this adorable little house with two of our best friends and a fantastic new one. We have hard wood floors, a washing machine, single beds and duvet covers that don't smell like mold and dust. We have brand new silverware, pots and pans. Ah, the joys of closet space and big, open windows. This house on McIlwrick street is tucked safely away from red light stops, and the creepy inhabitants of Carlisle. We have a front porch, and a back patio with a bbq. Down the road is a perfect little place for coffee and fantastic stores for food and clothes. We have it good.

But, to stay true to our backpacking bones, we are packing it all up and trading it in for an unfamiliar city in a secluded part of the country. And to make things all the better, we're driving to this place. So come a week from today, two American girls, a Canadian boy, and an Englishman will be squeezing themselves (and all their belongings) into a Safari car and making the 37 hour trek to Perth.

Let me put this in perspective for all my Americano friends out there. The drive will be roughly (if not longer than) driving from Ohio to California. 3,700 kilometers aka 2,300 miles. Oh, and we're taking 5 - 7 days to do it.

Bring. It. On.

We just needed a change of pace. A new city to find our favorite running paths. An unfamiliar block to discover the best cappuccinos. New faces and a new atmosphere. It's not like we're sick of Melbourne... that's not it in the least. It's just a bit too worn in for us now. We know it like the back of our hand and we're searching for something different. But it's not good-bye forever, we'll be coming back here before we depart in September. Regardless, this city will always be our first.

More details to come about our road tripping itinerary and the big move! T-minus 7 days and counting...

Who knows, maybe I'll finally learn how to surf? :)

xoxo

Em

5 Steps for the Unemployed.

Greetings to all of us who have had a little too much down time recently and, ummm, not enough ways to "prosper financially". Yikes... that didn't sound as positive and uplifting as I wanted it to... this blog is dedicated to everyone who knows what it's like to fight the constant battle of job searching and the countless hours of being unemployed!

Ever since being back from the States I have had the opportunity to find out what it is like to be a college graduate, and jobless. Thankfully, this is the first time I have felt like this in two years. Would you believe me if I said that I'm just doing this for the "life experience"? No? I don't think my parents will believe me either.

Anyway, just thought I'd shoot out a "how to survive in Australia (or any place, really) with limited resources and all the time (okay, 3 weeks) in the world" guide. It's a five step process so bare with me... okay, deep breath, ready - go!

1) Asses your assets. Figure out how to budget your money, and don't let yourself go over that budget. I know it might be tempting... and I admit, after eating peanut butter and jelly's for 4 days in a row I did succumb to take-out once or twice. But be mindful! If you go over your budget one day, figure out how to make it up the next. Be smart, and be cautious with your money. It doesn't last forever, and calling your parents up asking for a loan is wayyy worse than suffering through that cheap bowl of cereal for the second week in a row.

2) Make the most of little things. Try and find activities that don't cost much (or anything at all) and get excited about them! Whether it's daily walks, afternoon tennis with friends, or blogging. Having hobbies will make your time go by faster, and give you more of a self worth. They'll also allow your mind a break from constant "job worrying" and let you relax for a little. It'll give you something to look forward to each day and allow some recreational structure to your lifestyle.

3) Start thinking "what do I really want?" Slowly start focusing on the things that really matter to you. It's easy to get distracted with a whirlwind of work... and it's even easier to 'put off today what can be done tomorrow'. Now you don't have anything but time! What things make you happy? Go back to the basics and then start a plan to jump start those ideas. I'm going to be super cheesy and quote Up In The Air, "Anyone who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are right now. And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it."

4) Get back in touch with friends and family. This is a great time to start sending all those emails and letters you've been wanting to for months. Getting in touch (and staying in touch) with other people is crucial. If you start hibernating and secluding yourself you know you're headed in the wrong direction. The best way to get jobs is networking. So while you're catching up over coffee, see if anyone has any job ideas or positions they know of. You'll be surprised to see how many people are willing to help you out.

5) Keep yourself moving. As I said above... have hobbies, talk to people, start planning, be smart. These are all aspects of the most critical part of being unemployed - never remain stagnant. The more of a sloth you become, the harder it is to get back to your fast-placed, energetic, go-getter self. Be active in all parts of your life, mentally and physically. Don't lose the drive and determination otherwise you will be less likely to accomplish your goals. Rarely do people just "fall into" positions. They work for them, in one way or another. Whatever you put out in the Universe, you get back. Remember that.

I've recently been trying to incorporate all of these 5 points in my daily routine. I've been exercising, resumed blogging, gotten those emails and letters sent, redid my resume, started a list of potential jobs in Perth (yeah, we're moving again...), and finally sat back to think what am I doing here and what do I really want? Just an FYI, those questions are definitely the hardest thing to overcome about being without a job. Starting from scratch and building up... more difficult than it sounds.

Well, even though Patty and I save our coins to pay for our daily (which has turned into weekly) coffee, and my new diet is actually working since I can't spend money on tons of junk food, and we've resorted to hours of Scrabble instead of going out... we know it'll turn around eventually!

The thing about making it big and doing it fast, is that invariably the first steps will be small and slow. Which oddly, for many, is the same reason they don't take them.

So let's cheers our hypothetical glasses (because let's be honest, we can't afford to fill them at the moment) and toast to the small steps that will lead us to the bigger things we want!

This is a different sort of free I had in mind, wasn't it?

xoxo

em

"But Darlin', I'd Still Catch a Grenade For Ya.."

Ryan Bingham: How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV... the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home... I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office... and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks. - Up In The Air

I've written, and rewritten this post for a while now... and I still can't seem to find the words I need. It's just that... well, I have been feeling a bit blue recently. It's an uncommon emotion for me and one that I really dislike. But, it's here nonetheless and I don't think talking to you about this will do any good. I don't think you'd understand. And I think you'd just shut down. You see, I've noticed a very apparent distance between you and me. It's been going on for a while, and I think it is just getting worse and worse. Effort is definitely lacking in some places, and as we both know... cross-the-world communication is sometimes a real hassle. It makes me really sad to think about how there were times where I couldn't imagine going for months without talking to you... or not seeing you for over a year. I really feel like I've tried to maintain us... I think you're worth the heaviness. We've shared years of secrets, negotiations, compromises, and at times (I admit) - arguments. But we've also shared so much more - amazing, hilarious, spontaneous, ridiculous moments. Don't you think those alone are pretty special? Boo, my heart breaks a lot when I dwell on this too much.

I just want to let you know... that even if you're comfortable with letting this die out, I'm not. I was looking through some photos the other night and I can see why we've been friends for so long. I hope that a mutual effort springs from somewhere and we can get over this hump that you might not even know exists. But no matter what happens, now and in the end...

"darlin, i'd still catch a grenade for ya..."

xo

"American Honey..."

For the first time since August 31st, 2010 I am back on American soil. I landed in LAX on March 9th (the second March 9th that I had this year), and couldn't stop grinning. To be completely honest, I wasn't even that excited to be going back to the States until I heard the flight attendant's announcement over the loud speaker...

"And to all of our returning citizens, Welcome Home..."

Then it hit me. I was going to be seeing two of my best friends that night, Christa Rossell and Maggie May Graham. I was going to be able to hug them, and laugh, and show them pictures, and sit around in pj's eating baked lays talking about everything. I was going to my cousin's wedding in Key West and was able to see my family, which has been the longest I've gone without seeing them in my life. I was going to be able to eat all of my comfort foods, visit my favorite restaurants, go home to Columbus and Miami University and see everyone there... I was going to be able to go back to North Carolina and walk my dog, swim in the lake, play yahtzee, and eat Chipotle. I was going to be doing everything that I have pushed from my mind over the past six months. Not intentionally, of course, but it's easier to dwell on what you have in front of you rather than yearn after something you can't have. It's incredible to be able to experience all these different things once more. In fact, I started off this experience by grabbing a Bud Light at 9AM in LAX. Figuring I was going to Key West and could claim the excuse, "hey... it's 5 o'clock somewhere!"

In one of my first blogs about going to Australia I said something along the lines of having my "two lives collide" or something equally as cheesy and dramatic. Now, I am experiencing this sensation again - just in reverse. Instead of being in Australia and finding the differences and always thinking of back home, I'm now home... and using Aussie terms, trying to figure out where the meat pies are, getting used to cars and not trams, finding it odd that everyone has the same accent as me, and getting REALLY confused at the money situation. Our bills look like they're about to rip apart at any moment. Strange.

I'm really excited about going back to Melbourne, and even more excited about the things to come in the last half of my trip... but I'm really enjoying my time here. I'm remember why it was so comfortable... and realizing that even though at times I thought I was going to scream (or actually did scream) this was never that bad. My life back in Columbus was perfect for the first year out of college. Walking down High Street, and driving around the city, I can find memories in almost every place I look. Whether it was watching Patty in a fashion show on Halloween, grabbing mexican food after my first day at a 'real job' with Scott, going to the National's hockey games, Clipper's baseball games, OSU tailgates, countless breakfasts - lunches - and dinners out, or going to the park on Easter instead of Church... it's a city that I fell in love with. I'm so happy to be back!

The only thing that would make it feel perfect was if Patty was here. I haven't really experienced this city without her, and it seems odd that her (and her family) are gone. So shout out to you aussie roomie!! Keep those boys in line and have a skinny capp waiting for me when I get back :) :) :) I'll wave at your house when I drive by and stop by Liberty Place (APT 12307!) for you.

I'm sure I'll have tons more to tell you all once I get settled here in Columbus... but for now, I'm going to venture out in my converse, Floridian tan, aussie sunnies, and coat (brrr!) to take some pictures!

Miss & Love.

Em

"There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey..." ~ Lady Antebellum